HI! I'm Here! Can you see me?

My life is back at this place again. The weird inbetween. Not free to run yet not tied down. Not really. I mean this of course in the relationship sense.

It is 2.30 AM and he never once glance up at me. Never once paused his game to ask me how I was feeling or even to ask if I wanted to play too. The one time I asked him to get something for me out of another room he grumbled under his breath.

I sat there for 3 and a half hours and never once... never once did he seem to even acknowledge my presence in the room.

It seems we visit this inbetween far far too often. Its a vicious cycle. He'll start ignoring me. I become furious. He'll have an attitude. That pisses me off even more. He'll blame me for doing something (or not doing something) that wasn't my fault. I break. We argue. We go to bed angry. For days. For weeks. He gets tired of the cold shoulder and his manhood begins to get lonely. I still haven't received an apology. I ignore him. He'll wait another day or two. Then HE'LL ask ME why I have been ignoring HIM! I become more enraged by this accusation. I tell him so. I tell him that a wife can do with but so many loveless moments before she wanders into a neighbors yard or just out right leaves. He cries. I feel bad (for something that was his fault to begin with). He apologizies (an empty one at that). Promises change. Change doesn't come. He'll begin to ignore me again.

I can't deal with this anymore! There must be change. And for more then a moment. I need change for a lifetime. Honestly... how many more cycles can one human heart endure?
~*E*~